The therapist told me my
heartbeat was rewired to kill itself
instead of keeping me
alive, that the light found in most peoples’ eyes
had shut off in my own from
lack of electricity,
and my back was bent like
the spine of a much-loved book
after years of putting
myself down.
The day I sat in the
therapist’s chair was the same day I realized
that I don’t need someone
else to tell me what’s wrong with myself.
That no one knows me better
than I do,
knows that underneath my
skin there are ruby summer skies
just waiting for the storm
clouds to pass,
knows that there are fault
lines in my bones trying to break me open
but I will never let them
tear me apart and shake me to the core.
That day I realized a
licensed degree in therapy, combined with a couch and pen,
will never be a magnifying
glass into my soul.
That I just need some time
to work things out on my own
without the help of a
person who doesn’t even know my middle name
and only wants to dig me up
for inspection.
So when I went back to the
therapist for my second session,
I left a note face-up on
her chair.
“You don’t need to fix me.
I
was never broken.”
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